"If this isn't love" Part IX

When taking a road trip, most people begin by starting the car (or by, at least, getting in one). Then you have to determine the right direction in which to travel. Once you know which way to go, you increase your speed to a comfortable pace. And then, and only then, do you hit that button…the cruise button. That’s where we were. Cruising.

We had to settle back into our old, but trusty routine. We’d live our separate lives from Monday through Thursday, but we made sure to spend every moment of every weekend together as a family. The dynamics between us were still a little off. We were both in that “try not to do anything wrong, but watch out to see if they mess up” mindset. You know, walking on eggshells, but still waiting in the shadows with your 100,000 watt taser. It was an odd time, but we worked through it. We had our blow ups, but we talked through them. We just wouldn’t let each other just give up on 'us'.

It was the beginning of spring, which meant new life, bears coming out of hibernation, and me getting to go out in public. It, also, meant it was closing in on my and my lovely line sisters’ pledge birthday. This was the time that the eleven of us vowed to celebrate together every year…no excuses. I was beside myself with excitement, because 1) it really was my first time out in almost four months, and 2) it was Mr. Marcus’ first time on solo daddy duty. Well, sort of. He was on daddy duty, along with his two best friends, so I guess it was more like Davin being on daddy and uncle duty. Anyway, I kissed my boys goodbye, and headed out for a great time with my girls.

The girls and I had already decided that we were going to try to step things up a bit and make this year a big deal…after all, it was our 2^nd birthday!!! A few of us started the afternoon off at the mall for a little light shopping. We then headed across town to a tattoo parlor, intending for all of us to share in the experience and get a tattoo. Of course, several of us punked out, but there were a few brave souls that left that little shop with some new ink…myself included. Unfortunately, I didn’t leave that little shop as a happy customer. (PSA: Never, EVER, consider getting a tattoo as a good spur-the-moment idea.) Oh well. I wasn’t going to let that ruin my first night back in the midst of grown ups.

After tattoos, it was time for some dinner. We headed downtown to a fun spot on the river, known as Cajun’s Wharf (better known by the locals as just Cajun’s). Great food. Great atmosphere. Great company. We were definitely in for a great time. We sat down, ordered a few drinks, and began to reminisce about the “good ol’ days” back when we had no real responsibilities, like rent, student loan payments, and full-time jobs. Back when you felt like you were really living. ; )

Just as the appetizers were being brought out, I turned to see a familiar face come through the door, and it happened to be my honey’s best friend, Gill. Now, don’t get me wrong; I love Gill. He’s a great guy. But I couldn’t figure out, for the life of me, why he was walking into Cajun’s when he’s supposed to be helping to watch my baby. And he wasn’t just at Cajun’s; he was fast approaching my table. As he got closer, I could see that this wasn’t a chance meeting where we had coincidently crossed paths. There was a look of angst in his eyes that made my heart fall into the pit of my stomach. Something was wrong.

The closer he got to me, the more I could sense it. The room went silent, and I could only hear the pounding of my heart. I felt my hands grip the seat of my chair, as I, unknowingly, braced myself in preparation for the news he was about to deliver.

Coco, it’s something wrong with Davin. He’s not breathing right.

What do you mean, ‘he’s not breathing right’? What happened?

Iono! Something’s wrong. Leroy’s (Mr. Marcus, for those of you who didn’t know)  bringing him in now!

WHAT!?! WHY??? Why didn’t y’all take him to the hospital? What did y’all do?!?!?

Can you sense the panic??? Can you??? I was beside myself! How dumb could three grown men be to bring a non-breathing baby to a restaurant???

I was sitting at a table with 10 other, now,  panicking females, not knowing what to do or think. I look up to see my baby’s daddy walking through the restaurant with my newborn son bundled in his arms. He walks up to me and places Davin in my lap, not saying a word.

What’s wrong with Davin??? Why did you bring him here??? What have y’all been doing??? What happened???

He never said a word. He stood over me as fired my questions at him and peeled the blanket away from my son. I was almost in tears, as I feared the worst. I opened the blanket, only to see my beautiful son sucking his “Mute Button.” Fervently, I checked his nose, mouth, and all of his extremities. He was fine. He was healthy. I couldn’t find a thing wrong with him. However, I did find something.

Dangling around Davin’s neck, there was a shinny, silvery ribbon. I could tell that something was on the end of it, but it was tucked under his tiny body. I tugged on the string to dislodge the mystery object, only to find the most beautiful thing I had ever seen…

A ring…

A RING!!!

MYYY RING!!!

I looked up at Marcus, only to see him lowering himself down to one knee. Right then and there, in front of the hundreds of patrons that surrounded us, his friends and my sisters, the love of my life publicly proclaimed his love for me…and PROPOSED!!!

Of course, I said, YES!!! That man had just given me the best moment of my life! And it couldn't have been more perfect!!!

You HAVE to come back for the rest of the story...this ride, is just getting started.

"If this isn't love" Part VIII

I’ve always heard, and I know you have too, that life doesn’t always work out the way you expect. Now, I never doubted the saying; I just never thought it would be true for almost 90% of my adult life!

It was two days after our break up, and I thought that after New Years night, I couldn’t cry anymore tears. But I would feel like I was a pitcher under running water: I could contain myself, but only for so long; and after a while, I would begin to overflow. Just the thought of him would send me over the edge. At times, I would be overwhelmed with regret. Other times, I would take a deep breath and feel ever so calm and relieved. Some might say that it may have been pregnancy hormones…I say it was the pain of a self-inflicted, broken heart.

I sat on the couch, glued to my undeniable addiction, when I felt my cell buzz. It made me jump a little, since I’d sat there for almost 48 hours waiting on it to at least remind me that it still worked. And to my surprise, I had just received the first communication from Mr. Marcus since that dreadful break-up day. Of course, he was the last person I expected to hear from.

U busy? Nope, wuz up? I’m outside. Outside where??? I’m outside ur mom’s. Why? Can you come outside?

Hold up!!! Wait just a minute! I broke up with this man two days ago, and he just drove two hours to my parents’ house at almost 10 o’clock at night, and he wants me to come outside??? Puh-leeeaaase…yeah right! This is the man that put me out of his house and yelled at me for crying about stretch marks!  Whateva! I don’t care what you say. I’ve seen my fair share of lifetime movies! I turned to my mom and gave her the heads up. Of course, she had the same thing in mind…”You don’t need to go out there by yourself! Don’t walk anywhere where I can’t see you through the window. You need me to go with you? You want me to wake up your daddy?”

OK, so she may have gone a little overboard…but what mother wouldn’t? My heart was pounding, my palms were sweating, and my mind was racing. What, in Jesus’ name, was he doing here???

My mom walked me to the door, turned on the porch light and I stepped outside. I had already decided that I wasn’t getting into his truck and I wasn’t going anywhere where my mom couldn’t see me from the window. I walked closer to the truck, but saw no one in it. I stood there for a second, and then proceeded to walk toward the back of the truck. (don’t worry…I made a wide turn so 1) my mom could still see me and 2) so he couldn’t sneak me…I had to be able to see him coming). With my heart pounding with every step, I made my wide turn around the back of the truck. There Mr. Marcus stood. He had one hand behind his back and a look on his face that I had never seen…a look so unfamiliar that there could’ve been an entirely different person standing before me. I braced myself and waited for what I thought was coming. Anger. Aggression. Yelling. Blaming. Finger pointing. Punching. Slapping. Kicking. Biting. (ok, just kidding.) As he stepped into the light, getting closer to me, I began to recognize the look on his face. It was still a look that I had never seen him carry, but none the less, I could still recognize it. I knew that look, because I had seen it several times before. It was a look that I, myself, had carried.

It was pain…undeniable pain. He approached me with tears in his eyes, and from behind his back, handed me a dozen beautiful roses. I had no inclination of what to do next. I stood there, speechless, holding the first bouquet of flowers that he had ever given me. I felt like my heart stopped. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions.

He opened his mouth, and spoke from his heart. It was the most beautiful moment that I had ever been a part of. I can even say that it was just like the movies!!! He told me that he couldn’t live without me…that he couldn’t stand being away from me and his baby boy. He told me that he was willing to do whatever he needed to do to insure that we never got to this place again. His words were a beautiful melody to my ears and my heart.

We made our way inside. (Once my mom saw the flowers, she was able to breathe and let him in…lol.) There was long, adult conversation about what we both expected from each other. Long story short: he wanted me to be more understanding; I wanted him to spend more time with us, take more responsibility as a father and to develop a relationship with God. They were the most important things to us at that moment.

It was a relief to speak to each other without feeling obligated to spare each other’s feelings. We got every issue out in the open and broke them down one by one. Whatever we wanted to change, we vowed to do. By the end of the night (or wee hours of the morning) we decided to pick things up where we left off (minus the drama, of course). It was going to be about us and our new family. Everything else was secondary.

Hand in hand and with hearts intertwined once more, we forged ahead to a more promising future. Although this wasn’t the place we expected to be after over two years into our relationship, we realized that it all worked together for the good. The twists and turns in the road of our journey were becoming common place. It was time to start enjoying the ride again.

Are you enjoying the tales of my life? I sure hope so! Be sure to sign up as follower before you go...I'd hate for you to miss out on what's to come.

Part IX will be up tomorrow...I PROMISE!