Wednesday, January 19, 2011

"If this isn't love" Part VI

At the end of part V, I gave a small "warning" for today's post. Well, honestly, I left a few things out of the last post. I only gave you part of the story...the part that was funny and filled with love and sunshine. I, purposely, failed to mention the situations that lied just beneath the surface.

Before we realized that me moving back wasn't the best option for us financially, we actually did have talks about getting married. Of course we had always talked about marriage, but once a baby was in the picture, we had real grounds for discussing it. At least, I thought we did.

Remember when I said that I had an almost perfect pregnancy? Now, every bit of that was the truth. But the real reason I praise God for it, is because I was so focused on trying to get married, that I didn't always make the baby my first concern. Wait, don't get me wrong. After the fear wore off, I was beyond excited about having a baby. But I was in love and, not to mention, not getting any younger. The baby was on his way and I wanted us to be a family. There was going to be Daddy Hamilton, Baby Hamilton...and Mommy Burgess? It wasn't fair. I felt as if I was being left out.

I voiced my concerns to Mr. Marcus and he understood me completely. I told him, if we got married before the baby came, then I wouldn't need a big, elaborate wedding and reception. I would've been completely happy and satisfied with a small ceremony with just us and our parents with a small dinner afterwards. Honestly, we could've gone down to see a justice of the peace and then hopped over to Mickey D's, for all I cared. I just wanted to get married.

Every other day, I discussed the plans and tried to figure out the best day, time and location for everything to take place. I planned out an amazing small-fall-wedding-maternity ensemble. I even made arrangements to drive down so that we could meet up to get the marriage license. I had it all together and thoroughly planned out. All I needed was for Mr. Marcus to give me the green light.

I waited patiently, not wanting to put pressure on my honey. Then, after a while, I'd start to, inadvertently, bring it up in conversation every couple days. But, soon, I began to realize, my honey was no longer responding to me. It was almost as he was avoiding the subject all together. I thought to myself, "Maybe, I should just let him bring it up when he's ready." So, I let it rest....and waited. And waited. And WAITED. AND WAITED!!! Weeks, upon weeks, went by without him saying two words about marriage. I was fast approaching my 8th month of pregnancy, when I came to the heart-breaking realization that we, probably, weren't going to get married. At least, not before the baby came, anyway.

I was beyond disappointed. I was hurt. All I could think about was why? Why wasn't he as excited and anxious to get married as I was? Why wasn't he making it a priority the way I was? Why wasn't he planning our future the way I was? I couldn't understand. I didn't get it. But, I stayed quiet. Never brought it up again. Just kept wondering why.

It was the day before I was scheduled to give birth, and he still hadn't said a thing. I, finally, told myself on that day, that that was the last time I was going to think about it. It was no longer an issue. As long as we took the marriage license back before the expiration date was up, I was fine. (FYI: It takes both parties to get a marriage license. Once in hand, you have 60 days to either 1) get married, have it signed by the officiator, and send it back to the state office to keep on record; or 2) not get married and send it back to the state office. If you fail to send it back before the 60 day deadline, the state can issue a warrant for your arrests! Just thought you'd like to know that tidbit of info.) That night, I had the best sleep I'd had in a long time. And by the next evening, I was holding our precious son. Everything was perfect the way it was. We were a family. And not because of our last names...but, because we were together. Mommy, Daddy, and Baby.

I was at peace with not getting married. I, now, had better things to think about. We had just gotten home from the hospital, and we both sat looking at the wonderful blessing that we had been charged with, by God, to take care of. Without all of the hustle and bustle of the hospital, it was the first quiet and serene moment we had shared since Baby Davin's birth. Mr. Marcus sat down in the chair beside my bed and proceeded to speak these words: "You know, I was thinking. If you still want to go ahead and get married, we can gone and do it."

Now squint your eyes and say this with me, "What?" What did he just say to me? Did he just say that we could go ahead and get married now? That can't be what he just said. I know that's not what he said. That better NOT be what he just said. I'll be d*#@ed if that's what he just said. Ok ok, just kidding. Sort of. Nah, not really.

I was utterly dumbfounded. Was that a proposal? I mean, the whole point of getting married before the baby got here, was to get married before the baby got here. Now that the baby's here already, why would I rush and do it right now? Uhh, I wouldn't. And since we didn't get married before the baby's arrival, the only acceptable way to do it, is the way I've always dreamed it! I'm talking about a well-thought-out proposal, a big wedding with my sisters and all my friends as bridesmaids, my daddy walking me down the aisle as I wear the dress of a lifetime, and fat reception that will have all 200 of the guests talking about it when they woke up the next morning.

So, I, kindly, turned to the love of my life and said, " Naw, that's ok. I can wait now."

Come back for more juiciness in Part VII. I promise you, it gets better!

1 comment:

  1. Oh it gets better!! Really now? I can't wait to read whats next!!

    ReplyDelete